October 2nd, 2020

My wife calls everything with a stinger a “bee” - so honey bees, sweat bees, bumble bees, hornets, yellow jackets, paper wasps, mud daubers - and of course “bees.” The first time I encountered this, she came to me breathless and said, “I need you to kill something!”

“I’m your man,” I said. “Who’s the bunny?”

She completely missed the reference and just assumed I meant “kill what?”

“There’s a bee in the house!”

I went to take a look and saw a yellow jacket on the ceiling in the corner.

“That’s a yellow-jacket,” I said as if it were a question. In hindsight, I realize this was pretty stupid of me to be confused. Obviously, this is what she meant. How often do you have a yellow-jacket and a bee in the house at the same time? Anyway, I should have recognized it as a target-of-opportunity at the very least.

“Kill it!” She shouted.

“You said it was a bee,” I said still struggling with the least important detail of what she was saying.

“Kill it before it kills us!”

“Oh, settle down. It’s not going to kill us.”

“I’m allergic!”

“Oh. Then yeah, it might kill you,” I said.

“Hurry!”

After I had killed it, she gave me the descriptions of all the things called “Bee”

I'm an OCD nerd so, I made a list.